Beyond the Binge: 3 Ways to Replace Mindless Numbing with Real Rest
Numbing feels good.
We’ve been told that we shouldn’t be distracted by social media or eat our feelings. We’ve also been made to feel ashamed of binge-watching or having a glass of wine. Numbing feels good, so do we need to get rid of numbing behaviors altogether?
Or is there a way we can do the things we love to relax while still maintaining a healthy, balanced lifestyle?
The Trap of Modern Productivity
Think of the happiest, most carefree time of your life. I think of the 80s when I was a little kid. What kinds of things did you like to do? For me, it was riding bikes, playing with friends, eating cookies and milk, drawing, swimming, watching movies, and playing board games. There was a balance between physical activities and calm activities.
When we had energy, we ran around and played, and when we were tired or hungry, we stopped, rested, and had a meal.
It seems so simple, but many people in modern adulthood have prioritized productivity and achievement over their well-being. We knew how to listen to our needs when we were kids, but we learned how to soldier on and push through as adults, putting ourselves and our wants and needs last. This creates the perfect conditions for exhaustion that we don’t know how to recover from. We unintentionally create a situation where we have nothing left at the end of the day, and numbing out is our only option.
Finding Your Way Back to Balance
Here’s how to take control of the day so that you can intentionally choose to numb when you need to, and have lots of other options for rest and play as alternatives that help you de-stress and live in the moment!
1) Check the judgement.
Do you find yourself talking badly to yourself when you sit down and put your feet up at the end of the day? Many people notice that their mind gives them a hundred ideas about what they should be doing instead of resting, and guilty feelings pop up. This is because we’ve been trained to put ourselves last. However, it’s not fair or realistic. Tell those voices that you are a grown adult who can make choices and that honouring your needs is vital to your happiness. You’re relearning how to listen to your body, and it will feel uncomfortable at first.
2) Be mindful of numbing.
Many of us do it without noticing, and then the minutes and hours tick by. Pay attention when you notice yourself scrolling, reaching for the chip bag, or pouring a drink. See if you can catch yourself getting the urge. What’s your go-to way to zone out?
3) Ask yourself what you really need.
We don’t numb because we’re lazy; we do it because we're trying to escape an uncomfortable feeling. We want comfort quickly. The things that we choose give us a quick hit of dopamine. However, it doesn't solve the actual problem and often leaves us worse off.
Some common things we numb are hurt/angry/frustrated feelings; being tired, overwhelmed, lonely, or bored. Can you relate? Give yourself what you really need.
Frustrated? Address the problem.
Tired? Take a rest and prioritize sleep.
Overwhelmed? Make a plan to prioritize and let go of things that are not at the top of the list.
Lonely? Make plans to connect and cultivate relationships.
Bored? Go for a walk.
I realize the answer seems simple, but most of us ignore our bodies' nudges and just push through. Changing our lives starts with believing that we are important.
3) Do a body scan several times a day and take care of yourself.
Get into the habit of checking in a few times a day. Maybe set an alarm mid-morning and mid-afternoon. Ask yourself how you’re doing and if you need anything.
Are you hungry?
Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Do you need to talk with a colleague or make an appointment with your therapist?
It doesn’t take long and will greatly improve your mood. What is actually comforting to you? A cup of tea, a bath, a protein snack, ten jumping jacks, calling a friend, or playing your favorite music? Notice that none of these things leaves you feeling regret afterwards. When you choose to numb, be intentional and plan it to be time-limited or a small portion. Plan to watch one episode of your favorite show and then do something else. Portion out your popcorn so that you sit down with a cereal bowl instead of the whole popcorn bowl.
Comforting activities can easily turn into not feeling good when you get too much of a good thing.
Two cookies are delicious, while ten make you feel sick. Thirty minutes of Netflix feels restorative, while two hours can get boring and make your body stiff.
There is nothing wrong with vegging out once in a while. However, many of us do it chronically and compulsively, and don’t know why or how to stop. The consequences keep piling up, and there’s a point when we realize that we can’t keep going as we have been.
Instead, use mindfulness, or paying attention, and connect your mind with your body. When we take the time to reunite with ourselves, our feelings become a priority and we take care of ourselves throughout the day. We find activities that truly nourish us, and give ourselves permission to care for ourselves all day long, our lives slowly become more manageable and enjoyable.
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