Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
The Power of Resilience: Expect the Unexpected
“I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to make the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life…this is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan
Wouldn’t it be nice if everything always went according to plan?
We spend so much time planning our lives and work, from deciding what we want to do for a living, who we want to marry, when and if we have children, where we want to live, to how we want to retire. We usually don’t plan for people to get laid off, have an accident, or get sick.
We don’t know what's headed our way because we don’t have crystal balls, so it’s helpful to strengthen our resilience skills.
If we’re brave enough often enough, we’re inevitably going to fail. The thing is having the courage to try. But cultivating courage doesn't automatically guarantee success. In fact, many successful people have failed more times than they’ve succeeded.
How do these people keep going? Many of us would get discouraged and quit when things didn’t go our way.
The Rising Strong Process: Three Steps to Overcoming Setbacks
In the Rising Strong process, outlined in the book by Brené Brown Rising Strong, and included in the Dare to Lead training, there are three steps to overcoming setbacks:
The Reckoning
The Rumble
The Revolution
This three-step process helps us respond as our best selves, rather than freezing, reacting defensively, or aggressively in those early moments where we encounter a setback. And we've all certainly had those moments when we think back on a situation and wish we had done things differently. Have you ever walked away from a challenging situation only to think of the perfect thing to say afterwards? Or, even regretting what you’ve said?
We've all been there.
Even though we wish it wouldn’t, life is always going to throw us curveballs.
People are going to disappoint us, mistakes are going to be made, and things are not going to go as planned. The key is to expect the unexpected and slow down the process. Self-awareness and some preparation will help you respond in ways that you are proud of.
Let's explore the three steps in more detail.
Step 1: The Reckoning - Walk Into Your Story
In The Reckoning, we walk into our story. This is where we get faster at noticing that we're triggered by something. This is usually the moment when we jump to reacting, but in the reckoning, we simply notice that our body is reacting, we can get curious about and identify the emotion we are feeling, and we can pause and take a breath.
Step 2: The Rumble - Own Your Story
In The Rumble, we own our story. Did you know that we make up stories about the situations we face in life all day, every day? When we don’t have all of the information, we fill in the gaps with assumptions. We’re often not aware that we’re doing it, so writing our story down on paper helps us see it clearly in black and white.
When writing the story down, write exactly what you think. Make it honest, unfiltered, with good guys and bad guys, swear words, and it might even be unshareable. Then ask yourself, “What more do I need to learn and understand about the other people in the story?” Then, “What more do I need to learn and understand about myself?”
Step 3: The Revolution - Integrate the Learning
In The Revolution, we need to integrate the learning from this process into our daily lives. Are you now able to give people the benefit of the doubt? Are you willing to get curious and get more information from people when you don’t know the whole story? Did you notice that your fear of being perceived as incompetent is making you defensive?
The skills you learn in this process will make you better at responding to challenging situations, and not your assumptions.
People will appreciate your calm and curiosity, and you will be good at getting things right instead of being right. It’s wise not to fear the unknown, but to be prepared for it. A helpful mindset to adopt is “I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I know I can handle it.”
With the rising strong skills you have, you are prepared.
Do you want to improve your resilience skills?
We cover this process in detail inside the Dare to Lead training. Save your spot here.
