72: Care Less, Live More: How to Stop Husting for Your Worthiness
A little while ago, someone gave me a piece of advice. “Stop caring so much.”
My first reaction? Out of context, I wanted to argue. Don't we have a caring crisis? Shouldn't more people care more, not less?
But when I zoomed in on what's actually fueling my own overwhelm, the advice landed differently. I wasn't lacking care, I was spending it in all the wrong places: on problems I can't solve, people who didn't ask for my help, and critics whose opinion I'll never change no matter how hard I try.
In this episode, I dig into where “caring too much” really comes from (hint: it traces back to perfectionism and our hardwired need for love and belonging), why struggling isn't the same as trauma, and why letting the people we love make their own choices, even their own mistakes, is one of the most respectful things we can do for them.
I'll also walk you through how to figure out who and what actually deserves your care, so you can stop hustling for the approval of people who were never going to be impressed anyway and start saving your best energy for the people and priorities that matter most.
In this episode, discover:
● Why “stop caring so much” isn't uncaring, it's discernment, and it might be the permission you didn't know you needed.
● How caring too much is often rooted in perfectionism and an unconscious belief that your worth depends on being endlessly productive or helpful.
● Why struggling is not the same as trauma, and how confusing the two keeps us rescuing people who don't need (or want) rescuing.
● A simple exercise to identify your real top five priorities, and why you have to be on that list.
● How to stop hustling for the approval of your harshest critics, whose respect you'll likely never earn no matter how hard you try.
● Why giving your best self to the people you love sometimes means doing less for everyone else.
Timestamps
● 00:00 The Advice That Started It All
● 01:14 Wait — Don't We Need More Caring?
● 02:32 Where Overwhelm Really Comes From
● 03:48 The Roots of Caring Too Much: Perfectionism & Belonging
● 05:20 Taking On Problems That Aren't Yours
● 07:05 Struggling Isn't Trauma
● 08:40 Watching Kids (and Adults) Learn to Walk
● 10:32 Letting Go When They Move Away
● 12:05 The Truth About “What Will People Think?”
● 13:40 Why Everyone Is Replaceable
● 15:02 Building Your Top-Five Priority List
● 17:10 Caring Less About Your Harshest Critics
● 18:35 Giving Your Best Self to the People Who Matter
● 19:50 Dare to Lead Edmonton & Closing Thoughts
Links from today's episode:
Dare to Lead Workshop — October, Edmonton (use code COURAGE for 10% off)
