58: Oversharing vs. True Vulnerability
Today, I’m continuing our conversation about what makes us great leaders by diving into the concept of vulnerability. We often think of vulnerability as a weakness, but it's actually a measure of courage and strength.
As a leader, whether at work, with my family, or in my community, I'm required to lean into this discomfort and share vulnerably.
But it's important to note that there's a difference between vulnerability and plain oversharing. Sharing everything with everyone is oversharing. It's not actually necessary to be fully exposed to be vulnerable, and as a psychologist, I would advise against it.
Instead, we should be deliberate about what we share and with whom. Building trust takes time, and not everyone will earn it. When you share your ideas or opinions publicly, you risk inviting criticism from people you don't know. The fear of being judged is a natural deterrent our brains use to discourage this.
At the same time, being vulnerable sparks joy, creativity, love, and belonging. We need to be vulnerable to experience the best parts of life, so if we can bravely ease into supportive spaces, we become more comfortable with discomfort and build tolerance for risk.
In this episode, discover:
Why you're actually a leader, even if you don't hold the title — it's influence that makes you one.
How I use vulnerability as a parent to connect with my children’s emotions and guide them as they grow.
How to avoid a vulnerability hangover—that feeling of worry after putting yourself out there—and discover my technique for giving self-compassion when it happens.
My guidelines for discerning between vulnerability and oversharing, and why I err on the side of caution to protect my mental health.
Why self-confidence is a crucial pre-requisite to being vulnerable, and how I developed mine by taking risks.
The powerful paradox of vulnerability: it can feel terrible, but it looks like strength to others.
Timestamps:
00:00 Leadership Isn’t Just a Title: Influence in Everyday Life
01:16 Why Vulnerability Matters for High-Performing Leaders
01:43 Vulnerability in Real Life: Social Media, Speaking & Parenting
05:19 Letting Others Struggle: Building Resilience Instead of Fixing
07:04 The Vulnerability Hangover & Practicing Self-Compassion
09:13 Vulnerability vs. Oversharing: What to Share, When, and With Whom
14:57 Confidence as the Foundation: How It’s Built Over Time
19:34 The Vulnerability Paradox: It Feels Like Weakness, Looks Like Strength
22:04 Handling Criticism & Choosing the Right Audience for Your Story
26:00 Myths, Emotions, and Connection: Why Vulnerability Makes Better Leaders
30:29 Closing + Invitation: Dare to Lead Workshops (2026)
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