Create Your Best Holiday Season Ever in 2025
I was recently chatting with a group of moms about the upcoming holidays.
We were talking about all the family members we’re excited to see, the delicious meals we’re excited to eat, and the great gift deals we’ve gotten while shopping on Black Friday.
Then the conversation shifted to the things weighing on us during this “magical” time.
Several women talked about how they feel obligated to host out-of-town family members for days at a time. They talked about how time-consuming it was to get the house ready, how taxing it was to plan and cook all of the meals, and worried about how to create the best holiday ever.
That’s when the holiday resentment surfaced.
This holiday season, like many others before, is likely to involve watching OTHER PEOPLE have a lot of fun while we get stuck doing all the domestic duties with no help.
These women were already remembering how exhausted they would feel at the end of it, and, despite their optimism, would end the holiday with few memories besides cooking and cleaning. There would be no deep conversations, no chilling with a Christmas movie and popcorn, and no tobogganing with the kids.
We will be running around in chaos as the perfect hostess, not having the time or energy to participate.
It's not like people won’t offer help, but they don’t do it right, or you know, they came all this way, so we feel guilty accepting help. Then we blame our husbands and children for not reading our minds and doing what needs to be done. I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it?
Instead of doing what we’ve always done and expecting a different result, let’s challenge ourselves.
What do you REALLY want for Christmas this year?
I know that diamonds are a girl's best friend, and I will never say “no” to sparkles, but here's what I really want this year:
To make memories with my family.
Not to be tired and overwhelmed before the Christmas holidays even get here.
To enjoy ALL of the activities with everyone else.
To add some things to the list that I want to do, like reading a book in bed for half a day! Or maybe even a whole day!
If you're not sure what you truly want this holiday season, here are 3 simple ways to not just survive, but thrive this season:
#1 Remember the reason for the season.
Yes, baby Jesus was born. And whether we’re religious or not, most of us want to gather with people we love, do Christmas-y things, enjoy time away from working, and make memories.
#2 Decide to put yourself on the list.
If we're just as important as everyone else (and we really are, by the way) and want to have a fun holiday, what would we need to do differently?
We need to share the mental and physical load, even if it takes some time up front to discuss this with people and make a plan that works for everyone. We need to let go of control/chaos containment and involve our loved ones in the planning and execution.
#3 Know that there will be feelings.
LOTS of feelings can show up this time of year — specifically guilt and anxiety. So what do we DO with them?
Well, have you ever heard of rum and eggnog? Just kidding.
We need to breathe, enjoy the moments, and tell our brains that our worth is not defined by what we can do for other people.
People like to help, and even if they don’t (my kids might complain), we’re teaching people how to pitch in because many hands make light work for everyone. We’re not the hired help. We’re being good leaders and role models. We’re showing people what it looks like to claim equality. Trust me, when I have done this, the joy and relief I feel when I get to be a part of the experience quickly silences the desire to do everything.
Ultimately, we think that if we do all of the things, then everyone will be blissfully happy and shower us with love and appreciation. The reality is that we don’t control other people’s thoughts and feelings, and as past experience has shown, our efforts don't guarantee others’ happiness.
You may need to talk this through with a professional, especially if this is your first time trying it. There may also be other factors that I haven’t even touched on, and together, we can brainstorm what to do.
This holiday season, put yourself on the Christmas wish list and eliminate overwhelm. Remind yourself what the holidays are meant for, get help from the people around you, and plan ahead to make this the best Christmas holiday ever!
Wishing you a season of peace, relaxation, joy, and, of course, no overwhelm.
