Make Life Easier: A Simple 4-Step Plan for Less Stress
Life can feel hard and complicated at times. And it can feel monotonous and draining, leaving us dreaming of our next beach getaway or secretly wanting a different life altogether. It can sometimes seem like we don’t have a choice, that we have obligations and responsibilities, and that other things are more important.
We work hard, give it our all, and feel exhausted, believing our vacations will be our rest. But often we fill those spaces too, and we never really get downtime.
The truth is, sometimes we make our lives harder than they have to be. Intentionally deciding how to make life feel simpler is the key to a great life.
Here are four simple steps to help make your life easier:
1. Let It Go
Our brain tells us that everything is important, but that’s impossible. Our normal, everyday lives are not emergency situations, even if our minds try to make them seem that way. We need to really think about each thing we’re doing and ask ourselves, "Is this actually worth my time and energy?"
Without taking a moment to pause, we can be reactive rather than proactive, leaving us feeling out of control rather than in charge. Then, the more overwhelmed we are, the more chaotic things become.
We spend a lot of time and energy worrying about things we don’t control, like other people or the future. This takes up a lot of headspace and distracts us from what's truly important. And letting go of these things can feel a little scary, but with practice, it's incredibly freeing. Weighing yourself down with what you don't control is a waste of your precious, finite time and energy.
Think about one thing you could let go of today:
Pleasing the teacher by making all the goodies for the bake sales.
Letting go of a committee that stresses you out.
Saying "yes" to invitations you don’t want to go to, or answering calls from people you don’t want to interact with.
2. If You Can't Let It Go, Do Something About It.
There are things in life you likely can't let go of, but if they're constantly causing you stress, you must address them. Maybe it’s a relationship you wish were better, a situation at work, or worrying about your health. You'll know something is a problem when you repeatedly complain about it to others.
We often complain about the situation, or beat ourselves up about it, but that only relieves the tension temporarily—it doesn't solve the problem. We secretly hope the other people will miraculously change, or the situation will take care of itself. Rarely does that happen. If the thing has been bothering you for more than a month, it is probably time to take action. If you’re like me, you’ve lived with things for YEARS before putting them on the “to do” list, often because we're afraid of the time, effort, or the push back from others.
The more we take care of these nagging issues, the better we feel in the long run. It will motivate us to take action more often and sooner, because we will feel lighter. When I started addressing things, I couldn’t believe how much better I felt. I was amazed that I’d gotten used to living with those things for so long.
I had a pinched nerve in my shoulder for two years that a physiotherapist resolved in two weeks.
I had seasonal allergies, which made me foggy and dizzy, and a great antihistamine resolved them right away.
I had issues with a family member for decades, and after a conversation and some boundaries, I finally felt at peace.
Tackling these hard things clears what's draining you, so you have the energy to manage the surprises life throws your way, instead of feeling buried under an avalanche.
3. If You Can't Do Something About It, Let It Go.
Sometimes you think you can do something about a problem, only to find you can’t—maybe the other person doesn't want to change, or the circumstance won't shift. Cool. Good to know. Now you have information.
Circle back to step #, accept it, grieve, and let it go. You tried. And now you have valuable information. It’s not the reality you hoped for, but it is what it is for now, and you can make choices about your involvement.
4. Make a Plan.
Let’s intentionally decide what’s going to make things easier for you. Think about the small and large things.
Pick one or two options from this list, or use these to inspire your own ideas:
Shop for groceries online and reorder the same list each week.
Do a 10-minute house tidy at the end of the day to wake up to a clean space.
Carpool with other parents going to the same kid’s activities/school to give back a few moments to yourself.
Schedule 3 hours on a Saturday morning to clean your house each week, and get all residents to pitch in.
Meal prep on Sundays, or at least plan your meals for the week.
Plan workouts for the same time every day so you don't have to think about it.
Have a routine to do things the night before, like making lunches or setting out clothes.
Have a bedtime routine for yourself and your kids at the same time every day to make falling asleep easier.
Plan a date night every week or every other week with your spouse to recharge and reconnect.
Set up monthly finance withdrawals with the bank, e.g., contributions to RRSPs, RESPs, savings, or direct bill payments.
Review your yearly calendar and write down everything you know of, e.g., vacations, yearly appointments like dentist/doctor/optometrist/haircuts, etc., so nothing gets missed.
We often feel that life is heavy and complicated, and yet there are so many ways that we make it so. There's an old saying, “a stitch in time saves nine,” which means that if you fix a small tear with a stitch, it won't get bigger and become hard to mend.
Putting in a little time up front makes us proactive and helps us make things easier for ourselves. Our minds will often tell us that we don’t have time to do it or that it’s not necessary, but don’t fall for that mind trick. It doesn’t take much time, and your future self will love you for it.
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