Resolutions That Stick: 4 Simple Strategies for Habit-Building Success
If you set New Year’s resolutions, we’re a few months in. How’s it going?
Did you know that fewer than 10% of people actually achieve their New Year’s goals?
I think it might even be fewer than that. I'm here to help you get there.
Also, did you know that almost half of what we do each day is done out of habit?
That means half our day passes without us even thinking about it. This is a good thing because it allows us to conserve brainpower for tasks that require deep thought. However, we can unintentionally form habits based on what feels or tastes good.
Think about everyday habits like getting dressed or driving the car — our unconscious brain takes over. When we create new, positive habits, we expend very little mental energy, and our brain doesn't protest. It simply accepts the action as part of the routine.
All of a sudden, we’re adding Baileys to our coffee each morning or skipping our daily dog walks because it’s cold outside. Therefore, being aware of what we are doing and loving our reasons for doing it is really helpful. I mean, sure, it might be a good choice to stay home with the dog on the couch when the windchill is below 40 degrees Celsius. But when it warms up, get back out there, even if it’s just for 10 minutes.
We often think of things we want to stop doing when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, which makes our brains feel deprived and rebellious.
We don’t like the idea of scarcity, starvation, or exhaustion. I know that’s not what you’re proposing with your resolution, but that’s where our heads go.
I want to invite you to think about your resolutions differently this year. Here are four strategies:
1) Consider adding something rather than taking something away.
Here are some examples:
Want to be more productive? Add in exercise and intention setting for the first hour of the day
Want to save up for something? Add money every week to your savings account
Want to boost your energy? Add reading a book for 20 minutes and going to bed on time
Want to increase your mood? Add walking outside for 20 minutes a day
Want to change your diet? Add in more veggies and protein to each meal
Want to feel less stressed? Add a morning and afternoon breathing break for just 5 minutes
Want to be a better parent? Add a parenting course/book/podcast to your morning routine
Want to get better at a sport? Learn to paint? Socialize more? Take a class, sign up for a course, or dedicate a few minutes each day to making it happen.
2) Become the person you want to be.
This is often the most overlooked strategy for reaching our goals. For example, what would a person with a great marriage do? They wouldn't point out every wrongdoing of their partner. They would intentionally look for things they appreciate and communicate that appreciation. They planned to spend quality, fun time together and wouldn't be afraid to address issues through hard conversations.
Think about the mindset of a successful person at work or a physically fit person, and let that guide your decisions in the moment.
3) Notice what’s working and not working.
It can be helpful to write down your goal every day and plan how you'll achieve it. If you fall "off the wagon," don't quit. See if you can avoid falling into the "F-it" mentality, where you throw out all your progress. Instead, treat setbacks with a scientific approach: figure out what went wrong (for example, did being tired impact your water intake?) and then simply reset. This is a powerful part of the process, and your brain already knows what to do to get back on track.
4) Patience and practice.
When my kids were learning piano, the goal was 10 minutes of practice a day. It didn't seem like enough, but that small, consistent habit led to significant progress over time. Our brains might tell us that only 10 minutes of walking outside or 10 minutes of focused effort isn't enough, but consistency builds a powerful habit that becomes part of who you are and part of your life.
We can’t change everything all at once. We tell ourselves it’s not enough, but it’s not true, so don’t give up. Simply keep trying new strategies.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Making changes and learning new skills isn’t easy, but it is worth it when you see the results of the strength you now have, the meal you’re now able to make, or the focus you now have.
I’m cheering you on!
If you want to make this the year your resolutions stick, get in touch. Therapy can help.
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